Learn to Be Lonely
by st.jimmy.987
Summary: Hikaru's on a date with Haruhi...again. Poor Kaoru's left all alone...again, and now he feels depressed. What to do, what to do?


Kaoru almost groaned. Hikaru was out again with Haruhi. To make it worse---it was raining. Haruhi was afraid of thunderstorms, and there was a lot of thunder to be heard from this one. With nothing better to do (Hikaru usually helped him play pranks on the servants, but his twin was probably too busy keeping Haurhi company) Kaoru grabbed his iPod and, placing the headphones over his ears, commenced in blaring the music in his ears. He sat on the windowsill near their bed, looking out at the rain. Kaoru sighed at the growing feeling in his heart.

He felt lonely. For the first time in his life, he was alone. Truly alone. He sighed, leaning his head on the windowpane with his eyes closed. Since he had given the servants strict orders not to enter his room under any circumstances, he felt it was safe to sing with his iPod.

"_Child of the wilderness, born into emptiness  
Learn to be lonely. Learn to find your way in darkness  
Who will be there for you?  
Comfort and care for you?_" Kaoru was feeling extremely depressed and he knew it. But it was the only chance he had today.

"_Learn to be lonely. Learn to be your one companion  
Never dream out in the world, there are arms to hold you  
You've always known, your heart was on its own  
So laugh in your loneliness_" Which is what Kaoru did---he laughed. With Hunny and Mori, with Tono and Kyouya, even with Hikaru and Haruhi. He made it seem that he didn't mind being alone. He was lying, of course. What was it Hikaru had said after the time he tried to give him the last of their favorite cookie that one time?

"If you lie to me like that again, I won't forgive you." Kaoru was sure those were his words. Yet, here Kaoru was, lying worse than that, and Hikaru didn't even notice.

"_Child of the wilderness  
Learn to be lonely. Learn how to love life that is lived alone  
Learn to be lonely. Life can be lived  
Life can be loved  
Alone._" He finished softly, like the song was supposed to and almost started into the next one.

"Why are you singing something so depressing?" Kaoru's eyes widened and he whirled around, pulling the headphones off to hang around his neck.

"Hikaru!" He gasped almost silently. Under his brother's disapproving glare, he looked away. "How long have you been there, Hikaru?"

"Since the first line." Kaoru gasped lightly. The first line...he was there right after Kaoru situated himself on the window.

"Why weren't you with Haruhi? Sounds like a real storm out there." Hikaru shrugged.

"Tono came as soon as the rain started." He started laughing. "It's almost stalker-ish the way he appeared, Kaoru!" Kaoru attempted a smile.

"I'm sure it was." He stood up. "Well, since it's late, we should get to bed." Hikaru tilted his head, confused.

"Kao? You all right?" Kaoru smiled at his brother.

"'Course I am, Karu. Why wouldn't I be?" He walked past Hikaru and was reaching for the drawer that held his pajamas when Hikaru's hand clenched on his arm. Kaoru looked into identical eyes that were darkening in an unknown emotion. "Hikaru...?"

"You're lying to me again, Kaoru." Hikaru said angrily. "I thought I told you not to lie to me."

"This is different." Kaoru protested. "I was---"

"What are you hiding from me, Kaoru?" Kaoru winced.

"Nothing." He mumbled. Hikaru looked him over and scowled.

"Liar."

"I'm not! I---"

"Liar!" Hikaru repeated, pushing his brother against the wall. Kaoru gasped at the dark amber of Hikaru's eyes. "Don't lie to me, Kaoru."

"I'm not!" Kaoru yelled, pushing Hikaru off of him. Hikaru stumbled back and stared, wide-eyed, at his brother. Kaoru bit his lip. "I love you, Hikaru, but you need to think before you act." He spit out, then walked towards his drawer, pulled out his pajamas, and walked into the bathroom to change. Hikaru didn't move, frozen, as the words replayed in his head. When Kaoru came out of the bathroom, ready for bed, Hikaru pushed him against the wall again. "Hikaru, what---" He stopped talking instantly.

It is rather hard to talk when someone's tongue is in your mouth.

Kaoru unfroze and kissed back gently, touching the side of Hikaru's face. Nothing could ruin this moment for Kaoru, not even Haruhi---

Haruhi!

With a gasp, Kaoru pushed Hikaru away from him, his face angled down and his hand over his mouth.

"Kaor---"

"Hikaru, what about Haruhi?" Kaoru whispered, touching his lips softly. Hikaru smiled.

"Let her have Tono if she wants him." He whispered back softly. "I want my little brother." Kaoru looked at him and smirked.

"So dirty, Hikaru." Hikaru laughed easily, kissing his brother again.

"You don't know the half of it."


End file.
